I was talking with a friend of mine who is going through a not so nice break up. As we were talking, he got quiet. Suddenly, he said, “Somehow, I just lost myself. How did I get here?” It struck me because I said the same thing years ago. Somehow I lost myself. I cried to God and asked Him how did I get here? I used to be happy; full of life. I used to laugh. A lot. I remembered thinking that marriage and romantic relationships are for the birds and I’m out. I asked God how did I get here? He simply told me, “You lost your focus.”

At the time, I had no idea what that meant. I chewed on it off and on. I would arrive at what I thought it meant. Chew on it some more. Find another deeper meaning. Wash, rinse, repeat. As I grew in my faith, it finally became crystal clear. While I was thinking that I had lost focus on family, friends and career, I realized it wasn’t what God was talking about. He was talking about my purpose. The road I was supposed to be on.

God has a plan for us all. Although I didn’t really know God when I was younger, He was directing my steps. The more life I experienced, the more I deviated from the path. My way led me up to the point of a failing marriage and me looking in the mirror not recognizing myself. This is where my friend was and it all came rushing back. All the years I spent doing my own thing. The moment that I really saw God and got saved ‘fa real, fa real.’

We are here on purpose for a purpose. Sit back and think about it. Since we’re kinda talking about relationships, consider the story of Adam and Eve. Before Eve ever came into the picture, Adam had a job and a house! Ladies, can I get an Amen?! Before, you click away, I fully recognize it doesn’t always go that way. But, figuratively, those we choose to spend time with should have a work and a place. Go with me for a second into the vision God intended for us…

In the beginning…

In Genesis chapter 2, the bible goes into detail regarding how the garden was created. I’m a firm believer that everything in the bible is where it is and says what it says intentionally. So, chapter 2 describes the garden in meticulous detail. If you dig in, the garden was a palatial estate. The place. However, before God planted the garden, He made Adam (vs.5-7.) That’ll preach all by itself! Verse 5 says there was no man to till the ground. Man was already on His mind before he planted the garden. The work.

So, what does this mean for us and my friend? It means, that before we are in any serious relationship, God desires for us to be in purpose and in place for that purpose. It’s so that we don’t wake up one day and say, “Somehow, I lost myself.” Although, Adam and Eve ended up disobeying God and being thrown out of the garden, they were still the people that God had purposed them to be. Remember, God created a purpose and a place for us before we even got here.

God told Jeremiah, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah1:5 KJV) This is true for us today. When we lose ourselves in a relationship or we question why we are still single, think of this verse. Ask God where you are supposed to be and what you’re supposed to be doing.

I told my friend that it’s unfortunate what he was going through. However, he now has the unique opportunity to find himself again and get rooted. He has the opportunity to reconnect with his purpose and God without distraction. I think that is the best part of singleness. Undisturbed time with God. Carve out your undisturbed time with God. Reconnect or grow in the plan He has for you.

We all know Jeremiah 29:11. We are more familiar with the NIV version but in this instance, I prefer the King James version that reads: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Discover the thoughts that God thinks toward you and move in anticipation of the expected end. He’ll tell you if you ask. ~ Selah